I read the first 3 chapters of Feynmans QED book, three times, correlation? no f***in way

I tell you what, I must be slightly old fashioned as this shiz feels like it's reprogramming my brain, it brings me very much out of "society as we see it"

it's not a nice feeling because you feel slightly alien and less happy with the extremely basic 3D world as you/I have percieved it all our lives. It's kind of like destroying someones religion to a certain extent, obviously this sounds over the top but that depends how much you believe it and I fucking believe it lol. Also a part of me makes me absorb this entirely as it's up to our generation to take this further. Obviously I won't take this further, but as part of the 'masses' I feel I must understand this as.... HANG ON A MINUTE! I think I just dislike the basic simple society we live in!
After reading this stuff though and actually understanding it enough to make your brain flip upside down it does make me think about all people doing alot of useless shit but I only see it as useless shit because I make the assumption they have no 'greater understanding' of anything around them. It's very depressing if not kept in moderation however I am lucky my mind is able to moderate and justify things and be generally positive, otherwise this book would be a killer for some people; sorry, not the book, but I mean the whole topic in general... oops, not the whole topic, I mean the universe, oh ffs I MEAN EVERYTHING AS WE KNOW AND UNDERSTAND IT..... EVAAAAAAR!

Ironic how thinking outside the box can only make you feel so much more enclosed in a box!
Edit: too many space games and movies and not enough beer & sex lately...
But is that a general principle in human thinking which forces us to impose that every thought process, no matter how outside the box it is will always be inside a set of parameters? Thank fuck, I feel clueless again

Another edit: very hard ranting on like this as I'm missing ou t on 300 years of physics knwoledge...